Posts Tagged ‘david’

How To Fail as a Father

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

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INTRODUCTION

Today I’m going to continue the message series that we are doing here at WPA for the summer entitled, “The Bible’s Biggest Losers”.

One of the things I love about the Bible is that it doesn’t paint all the heroes in the stories as infallible or perfect. In fact, the Holy Spirit is careful to include the “losing” moments as well. It gives hope to all of us who read the Bible who know full well that we’re not perfect people that maybe, just maybe God can use us too!

With it being Father’s day I thought it’d be a good idea to take a look at a father from the Bible and I was drawn to talk about King David. Now, we know David as a great king of Israel and he’s even described as a “man after God’s own heart”. We know the story of David and Goliath, and the incredible odds he overcame to fulfill the anointing God placed on his life as a King of God’s people. David was so great that one of the titles for the Messiah, Jesus Christ is “Son of David” tying the human lineage of Jesus to David himself. What an honor.

However, those familiar with King David also know that there are some tragic stories in David’s life where he failed dramatically and it cost him dearly. If you want to read up on the incredible story of David and his reign over Israel you can find it in 1 Samuel 16-31, all of 2 Samuel, 1 Kings 1-2, and 1 Chronicles 11-29. You can also get a feel for David’s passions and artistry by reading many of the Psalms he wrote.

Today, we’re going to zero in on a particularly tragic moment in David’s life in 2 Samuel 18,

5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders. 6 The army marched into the field to fight Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. 7 There the army of Israel was defeated by David’s men, and the casualties that day were great–twenty thousand men. 8 The battle spread out over the whole countryside, and the forest claimed more lives that day than the sword. 9 Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s head got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going. 10 When one of the men saw this, he told Joab, “I just saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree.” 11 Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What! You saw him? Why didn’t you strike him to the ground right there? Then I would have had to give you ten shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.” 12 But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into my hands, I would not lift my hand against the king’s son. In our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for my sake.’ 13 And if I had put my life in jeopardy–and nothing is hidden from the king–you would have kept your distance from me.” 14 Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. 15 And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him. 16 Then Joab sounded the trumpet, and the troops stopped pursuing Israel, for Joab halted them..
2 Samuel 18:5-18 (NIV)

In this snapshot of David’s life I chose to begin with the words of David instructing 3 of his generals to be gentle with his son Absalom. Yet dramatically, we discover that they are far from gentle. In fact, Absalom’s life is brutally taken. How did things get to this point? How did things get to the point where Absalom is leading the army of Israel against his father King David? How did things get to the point where David’s generals would kill his son?

To understand the answer to that question I did some reading over the story of David’s life and I’m going to give you a quick rundown of some things I discovered about his children:

  • The Bible names for us 19 sons and 1 daughter that David had but there is the suggestion that he had many more that were born to his concubines.
  • Of those children we gain greater insight into the lives of five: Amnon, Absalom, Adonijah, Solomon and Tamar:
    • Amnon rapes his half-sister Tamar
    • Tamar is Absalom’s full-sister and when he hears of Amnon’s deed he is furious and plots revenge. He rigs up a celebratory party and invites all his brothers including Amnon to the party where he has his people murder Amnon
    • Absalom is banished from the kingdom for two years to his grandfather’s (on his mother’s side) land and when is returned to Israel he plots to take the kingdom from his father David. Absalom ends up heading up this conspiracy against King David that hit its peak when he had himself crowned King in Hebron and David fled Jerusalem.
    • Absalom raped his father’s concubines when he arrived in Jerusalem.
    • Absalom leads Israel’s armies out to battle David and his men and they lose (as we’ve already read)
    • Adonijah follows in Absalom’s footsteps and plots to undermine David’s authority and steal the kingdom from him but is kept from doing so when King David is informed by the plot and accelerates the crowning of Solomon as King.

It is clear as you read the story of David and his family that David had some faults. From the example of David and the teaching of scripture I’d like to spend a few minutes today answering the question, “How to fail as a father”. Some of you men here today are fathers. Some of you are going to be a father in the coming months. Some of you know someone who is a father or who is going to be a father. Listen up, because I think God has something to say to you today. For the rest of you I also want you to listen carefully because I’m going to share with you how God as our father doesn’t fail!

Now I need to make a couple things clear.

One, there is the reality that each person is responsible for the actions he/she takes in life. Just because a father fails doesn’t necessarily guarantee that his children will do terrible things or live fruitless lives. Just because a father succeeds doesn’t necessarily guarantee that his children will live exemplary lives and be Godly individuals. But a good father will increase the positive potential for their children.

Two, as you listen to this message you may discover some areas where you may be failing as a father or have failed. Don’t allow this discovery to discourage you but instead take it as a challenge to do something about it. Placed before you is the opportunity to make changes so that what you discover is no longer true in your life as a father. Even as I was preparing this message there were some things the Holy Spirit nudged me about that I need to work on in my own life as the father to my children. Being a father is hard work, and no father is perfect. The biggest losers are not those who fail, but those who let their failure define their future actions and decisions because they become comfortable with that failure.

How to fail as a father…

1. Don’t spend time with your children.

This is obvious but so easily forgotten. You want to decrease the positive potential in your children then don’t spend time with them. The next few points I make are dependent on the time that you invest in your kids.

King David teaches us that it doesn’t matter how important of a role you play in the world – your most important role is the one you have in your family as father. If you don’t spend time with your kids then you are abdicating that role.

In King David’s story it is revealing that when Absalom was plotting to get revenge on his brother Amnon for raping his sister he went to his father…well let’s just read it:

23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there. 24 Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his officials please join me?” 25 “No, my son,” the king replied. “All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you.” Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go, but gave him his blessing.
2 Samuel 13:23-25 (NIV)

Now why would Absalom even bother to invite his father to come to the celebration knowing full well that if David accepted he wouldn’t be able to pull off what he had planned? Here’s the thing. Absalom had to give the appearance to David that nothing was up by inviting him but Absalom knew that David probably wouldn’t accept. How would Absalom know that? Because of the pattern David had set in his life of not spending time with his children.

Not only that but did you catch the excuse David gave for not attending? “I don’t think I should come, I don’t want to be a burden to you”. What kind of lame excuse is that? I wonder how many lame excuses like that David had given in to his sons when they wanted to go riding horses with him, or have him teach them how to throw a spear, tuck them in at night, or be at their birthday parties?

What are the lame excuses you give your kids for backing out of spending time with them?

I remember once my daughter Jenna came to me and gave me a hug after I spent some time wrestling with her and my other three children (getting to be more dangerous the older they get!) and she said, “Thanks Daddy”. I asked her, “Thanks for what?” “Thanks for spending time with us Daddy” and I said, “Daddy always has time for you guys” Then Jenna floored me, “Sometimes Daddy, but you’re always on your blackberry or the ‘puter”.

BAM! What a gut-wrenching thing to hear from Jenna. I realized I was failing as a father because my daughter was seeing me on the computer and the blackberry more than she was seeing me with her. Which brings me to an important point,

The amount of time is secondary to the quality of your time.

Paul writes to the fathers in the Ephesian church, “Don’t provoke to anger (or exasperate) your children” (Eph. 6:4). Do you know one of the easiest ways to exasperate your children? When you’re in the same room or the same house, or around you’re kids but you’re not really there. When you are present in body but not present in any other way. Kids pick up on that, they know when you’re around but not really present. That is what affects the quality of the time you spend with your children.

As I said earlier spending time with your children is foundational for any of the other things you do as a father with your children…let’s continue (How to fail as a father…)

2. Don’t discipline your kids (or forgive them either).

Listen to this revealing statement about David’s failure as a father,

6 Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” (1 Kings 1:6)

The context of this sentence is that Adonijah had begun boasting that he will make himself king and got some chariots and charioteers and recruited fifty men to run in front of him. Yet, it appears as though David is oblivious to this.

What about the rape of David’s daughter Tamar by his son Amnon? All scripture records for us is that David got really angry….um with nothing else. It appears that he didn’t even tend to his daughter for scripture records that Tamar retreated to the home of her brother Abasalom a “desolate woman”. I wonder what seeds of resentment were born in Absalom’s heart towards his father because of the lack action by David in disciplining Amnon?

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
Proverbs 13:24 (NLT)

Those words were written by David’s son Solomon. I wonder, if Solomon was thinking of the things he saw as a child as a result of the lack of disciplining in his brothers lives?

Where does spending time come in with discipline? If you don’t spend time with your kids then you won’t know what discipline is effective in instructing your kids on the right and wrong in life. (share about how my children differ in what discipline works best in reinforcing boundaries). If you don’t spend time with your children then how will you know WHAT needs to receive discipline?

3. Don’t pass on any spiritual heritage (don’t let you kids know how much you love Jesus) – oh, and don’t pray for your kids either!

Scripture teaches us that David had a rich relationship with God and spent time with Him. But how much of that relationship did David pass on to his sons? Very little it seems because of his not spending time with them.

Want to fail as a father? Don’t pass on any spiritual heritage…let’s think about his…

To begin with, obviously, you can’t pass on any spiritual heritage if you don’t have any. If you don’t cultivate any relationship with God your self then you’re definitely not going to pass anything to your kids.

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (NIV)

Second, if you don’t spend any time with your kids and let them observe how much Jesus means to you and guides you in your daily life then you aren’t going to pass on any spiritual heritage.

6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)

Third, passing on a spiritual heritage doesn’t mean that you have a game face for when you around your kids and a hang loose face when you are not. You need to be authentic with your children. They need to know what living as a Christian is really like. They need to know what to do when they mess up from learning by what you do when you mess up. They need to see you live out authentically what you are learning together as you read God’s word and as you make decisions.

This brings me to the next point – to fail as a father…

4. Don’t recognize and value the influence you have in your children’s lives. In other words, don’t fight for your kids.

The reality is, especially in today’s world – there are many things competing for the influence of your children. The saddest thing is that there are many fathers abdicating their role as the primary influence in their child’s life. The amount of positive influence you have in your children’s lives is proportional to the amount of quality time you spend with them.

David had tremendous influence as the God’s anointed king of Israel and he had tremendous influence as a mighty warrior but his influence as a father in his children’s lives was withered because of the limited time he spent with them, his poor discipline of them, and the limited spiritual heritage he passed on to many of them.

Listen carefully Fathers and this applies to mothers as well – parents ARE the primary influencers in their children’s lives. You influence them even when you don’t engage with them. If you fail to recognize the affect of your influence in their lives then you are missing the greatest opportunity God has given you to build positive potential into your children’s lives.

Here’s an important question when it comes to influence…Can you say to your children, ‘Live like I do with NO exceptions? In other words, do you have exceptions to following Christ, like “except for my anger” or “except for my looking at other women”? Don’t think for a minute that David’s sons behaviors weren’t influenced in any way by the activities they saw in their father’s life (David and Bathsheba for example).

When it comes to the important stuff in life don’t leave it to what their peers say, what the school says, or what they read or see. Be on the constant look out for opportunities to be a positive influence in your child’s life!

CONCLUSION

So what are you going to do about it the answers to, “how to fail as a father”? Are you going to get hung up on how you failed as a father or are you going to pursue the responsibility God has given you and be a good father to your children?

I want to finish off with the reinforcement this morning that one of the ways God wants us to relate to Him is to see Him as our Father. Why? Because as our Father God is forever working to build within us increasing positive potential to be better, to do better, and to live the better life He wants for all of us WITH HIM! Do you realize how much he cares about you?

  • God has unlimited time to spend with you and is ALWAYS available. Do you seize the opportunity to spend time with him? Even more He is fully present when you are fully present. Even more, He understands everything you go through, everything you think about, everything about who you are…even more than you understand
  • God cares enough to discipline when necessary. Do you receive or reject that discipline? Do you understand His desire that you would achiever your POTENTIAL?
  • Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you for your own good.
    • Deuteronomy 8:5 (NLT)
    • God is perfect but He never expects us to be perfect. He requires it, yes, because He is holy, but He made it possible for us to attain perfection via the willing sacrifice He himself made as Jesus Christ. God wants us to be like him. He wants us to be like Jesus. He wants us to be better and KNOWS OUR POTENTIAL. In some ways, God knows that we fail, and He knows that we fall short of the mark – which IS WHY HE IS READY TO PICK US UP AGAIN AND MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR US TO MOVE FORWARD. (
  • He cares enough to make possible incredible spiritual resources in the scriptures, in the church, and in the investment of Himself as the Holy Spirit.
  • Finally, know that God as our Father FIGHTS for you. Not in the sense that He always takes on your battles but that HE makes sure you have every possibility to know Him as the primary influence in your life. HE paid the ULTIMATE price so you could know Him as YOUR Father. Maybe you’ve lived a life where no one has fought for you. Maybe you are even feeling that way right now. You need to know this morning that God fights for you – HE wants you as His child, He DOESN’T WANT YOU to know the pain of hell, the pain of eternal separation from Him. HE’S made it possible for you to know HIM. Once you understand the wooing nature of God’s GRACE there is an irresistible pull to answer His invitation….
  • As our Father God has ALWAYS initiated communication on the important stuff. From the Dawn of creation He has done so. Creation itself is God’s initiation. Of course, nothing speaks louder than the sacrifice Christ made on our behalf – what more could God do to demonstrate His love for us (and the price that must be paid for sin).

Invitation to the altar.

PRAY

David: The Shepherd King

Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
This entry is part 7 of 15 in the series When the Heroes of Faith speak...

Read at beginning of service:

John 15:1-8 (NIV)

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Recap series, “When the Heroes of Faith Speak”

PRAY

This morning, we?re going to look at possibly the most beloved character in the Old Testament.

He lived a life of success and sorrow, faith and failure.

He knew the humility of being a simple shepherd?

He knew the honor of being a nation?s King.

His name was David?and Scripture tells us that David was a man “After God?s own heart”.

And yet, David made some horrible mistakes in his life that brought shame upon him, and pain/suffering upon his family.

As I pondered what King David would say if he stood in this pulpit this morning, I was literally overwhelmed.

We could spend months looking at his life?

I could preach entire sermon series on the life of David.

How could I possibly boil his entire life down into just a few words of advice?

I believe that if David were here, he would share these 3 bits of wisdom with you.

First, I believe that David would remind you?

PRIDE KILLS FAITH

I Samuel 16 tells the story of the Shepherd boy who became a King.

The youngest of 8 children, David was out in the fields tending sheep when Samuel came to his father?s house to anoint a new king over Israel.

Jesse sent 7 of his sons before Samuel, beginning with the oldest.

He was a fine looking fellow, probably a cross between a young Tom Cruse, Bruce Willis and Richard Gere.

Samuel thought for sure that this was the man to be King?he just looked like a king!

But God said to him in I Samuel 16:7,


1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

6 more sons passed by Samuel, and God didn?t allow Samuel to anoint any of them as the new King.

Finally, Jesse called David from the fields.

Verse 12 tells us the he was bright, red headed and good looking.

Samuel anointed the young boy David as the new King of Israel.

The youngest brother – a poor peasant sheep-herder was made the king of Israel.

But there was only one problem.

King Saul was still on the throne and refused to accept that he was fired!

He still remained on the throne, and David couldn?t take his place until God had removed him.

Saul was slowly going crazy, and verse 14 says that a distressing spirit troubled him.

David came to play some music for Saul, and even though he was the rightful King, remained in submission to Saul.

Fast forward with me to chapter 17?The armies of Israel were on one side of the hill?.The armies of the Philistines were on the other side of the hill, and “No man?s Land? stood in the valley before them.

Each day, a nasty nine foot tall guy by the name of Goliath walked out into the center of the valley and challenged any one of the Israelites to fight him, winner take all!

This was the beginning of what we call in sports today, “Sudden death Overtime”.

This is when the game goes into overtime and the first team that scores wins the game.

Except, this really was “Sudden Death Overtime!”

Not a single soldier, including David?s own brothers, would dare face down Goliath.

David came to the camp to bring food to his brothers, and heard Goliath down in the valley.

David heard Goliath trashing the nation of Israel, and blaspheming God.

He was enraged?He went straight to Saul and volunteered to fight Goliath.

In the valley stood a giant and a boy, and warrior and a child.

Goliath looked down at David and said in verses 43-44, “?Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. “Come here,” he said, “and I?ll give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!”

David could handle a lot of abuse, after all, he had 7 older brothers!

But he couldn?t handle hearing God cursed, so David said in verse 45-47

1 Samuel 17:45-47 (NIV)

45 David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

He stunned Goliath with a rock from a slingshot, and used Goliath?s own sword to cut off his head.

And on that day, David showed everyone he really know how to get ahead in this world!

And as soon as he was done, he went right back to being the shepherd boy who played music for the king.

He went right back to his position of submission under Saul, and waited for God to make him the king.

Here?s the point that I want you to see.

David didn?t stand on his own abilities, strengths or talents.

David didn?t play politics, curry favor and try to take the king?s place.

David didn?t take the credit for the victories that God gave him.

Do you remember what David said when he faced Goliath?

“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me?”

David knew that the victory belonged to God.

David understood who was the Shepherd and who was the sheep.

David understood who was the potter and who was the clay.

David was careful not to let himself become prideful in his own ability.

Jesus said it more appropriately in John 15:5

John 15:5 (NIV)

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Friends, we need to get a hold of that principle for our lives?David knew it well.

Without Jesus, you and I could not accomplish a single thing!

In my opinion, there tends to be a lot of pride in the church of Jesus Christ.

We talk about how we did this or we did that.

Friends, let me say this as your pastor?We haven?t done anything.

God has done everything.

This church is moving forward ? not because of anything we?ve done but because of what God is doing!!

Exciting things are happening here!

It?s not the preaching, teaching, caring, sharing, or giving that?s growing this church?It?s Jesus!

It?s not good management, careful budgeting, missions or outreach that?s growing this church?It?s Jesus.

He is the vine, we are the branches?

If the preaching/teaching are good, it?s because Jesus used some simple men/women to speak His truth.

If the caring/sharing minister to you, it?s because Jesus uses each of you to love one another.

If good management/careful budgeting helps us reach the lost, it?s because Jesus guided each person to make that happen.

If this church is reaching the lost through missions or outreach its because God planted passion/vision in come folks hearts to make that happen.

Let me share with you the quickest way to destroy God?s work in a church.

Just get prideful and start taking credit for what God?s doing!

The moment we start giving the credit to us rather than God, His blessings will disappear.

Friends, we need to make sure that we have David?s heart.

David knew that he couldn?t kill Goliath?but he knew that God could!

David knew that he couldn?t take the throne from Saul?but he knew that God could!

May I give you what I believe is a very accurate way to tell whether you suffer from “holy pride”?

How willing are you to stay out of God?s way and let Him work in your church and your life?

Pridefulness believes that it all depends on us.

Pridefulness has to have control.

Pridefulness resists any new ideas.

Pridefulness can?t step out on faith.

Pridefulness puts God in a box and says, “God, we make the rules here, not you. We know what we?re doing better than you do!”

In my experience, the more prideful a person is, the more controlling and resistant they are to allowing God to work freely.

And friends, here?s the secret that young David knew.

God can?t work in an atmosphere of pride.

His own people will quench His Spirit when they?re prideful.

His own church will stop His work when pride rules the roost.

Would you agree with me on a few things here this morning?

We really don?t deserve a God?s love that sent His son to die for us.

We really can?t do anything to earn our way to Heaven.

We really can?t become less sinful unless God?s Holy Spirit leads us.

We really can?t get God to love us more by doing favors for Him.

We really don?t want our way, we want God?s way.

We really can?t accomplish anything for God unless He accomplishes it through us.

Could you say those things this morning and really mean them?

Then you understand what David understood.

Don?t ever let yourself become prideful in your own ability.

So, before we go on, what happens when we let go of all pride and let God?s Spirit work through us, depending on Him for the results.

A. We?ll stop fearing failure.

We just do the work that Jesus sets before us, and let Him worry about the results!

B. We?ll be Free to Take a Step of Faith.

When we simply follow God?s leading and stop worrying about failure and results, then we?re not afraid to take those God led steps of faith.

We took a step of faith when we initiated the building project.

We stepped out on faith, trusted God for the results, and He isn?t letting us down!

When we strip away all pride in our personal ability, then God can really move and work in our midst.

David say to us this morning, “Pride kills faith”

2nd David would plead with us?

2. Don?t let too much idle time cause you to sin.

We?re going to fast forward again quite a few years ? Now the shepherd boy has become king over Israel.

He?s a king, anointed by God, placed on the throne to serve the people.

Turn to II Samuel 11 (Pew Bible Page 306)

2 Samuel 11:1 (NIV)

1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

And so began the most horrible time in David?s life.

He saw Bathsheba bathing on a nearby roof.

The roof was considered a private place, away from the prying eyes at street level.

But the palace towered above the other buildings in Jerusalem.

David saw Bathsheba, found out she was married, and still called her to the palace to have sex with him.

She became pregnant, and David called her husband home from the battlefield to sleep with her and hide his sin.

Uriah refused, so David had him murdered on the battlefield.

Turn with me to II Samuel 12 and see the horrible results of David?s sin.

2 Samuel 12:1-12 (NIV)

1 The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. 4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.” 5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” 7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’ 11 “This is what the LORD says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”

Even though David repented, there were still terrible consequences for his sin.

The young baby conceived by David/Bathsheba died from illness.

Incest was committed in David?s own home as David?s son Amnon took his stepsister Tamar.

David?s own son, Absalom, murdered Amnon is revenge for Tamar, then rose up in rebellion against David.

He drove David from the palace in Jerusalem, and took David?s wives and slept with them to insult/humiliate his father.

The rebellion was crushed, and Absalom was killed.

David lived the rest of his life in constant strife, sorrow and violence, just as Nathan had foretold.

If David was here this morning, He?d plead with you.

He?d say, “Don?t let too much idle time cause you to sin!”

Let me explain?Look back again with me to II Samuel 11:1.

2 Samuel 11:1 (NIV)

1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

Kings were supposed to accompany their armies to battle.

Kings weren?t supposed to sit idle around the palace.

I believe that David?s sorrows began when he stayed in the palace, with too much time on his hands.

If David had gone to war, he wouldn?t have seen Bathsheba on the rooftop.

If David had gone to war, he wouldn?t have called for her ands slept with her.

If David had gone to war, he wouldn?t have had to order her husband to be killed in order to marry her and hide the shame.

If David had gone to war, Nathan would have never pronounced God?s judgment on David.

There would have been no rape.

There would have been no murder.

There would have been no rebellion.

David would not have to watch as 2 of his sons died.

All that grief and pain caused by too much idle time on his hands.

Many years ago, someone said, “Idle hands are the Devil?s playground.”

How true it was in David?s case?How true it is in our lives as well.

Do you have too much idle time on your hands?

Do you find yourself being tempted when you have idle time?

Do you give into that temptation too easily when you have idle time and no accountability?

There is a solution for this. And I can attest to it. If you are married, have lots of kids (sic). Just joking.

But it is important that you have what I call accountable idle time.

Don?t allow idle time with no accountability. Plan what you do with your idle time and be accountable to someone about what you do!

David, a man after God?s own heart, sinned when he had too much time on his hands.

You?re no stronger than he is.

David would freely tell you this morning that Idle time destroyed his life.

He?d say, Don?t let too much idle time cause you to sin.

Last, David would plead with you.

He?d say?

Don?t be afraid to admit when you?ve blown it.

Look back at II Samuel 12:13.

This is David?s immediate response to Nathan when he exposed David?s affair.

2 Samuel 12:13 (NIV)

13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.

Now, I want you to turn to Psalm 50. (Pew Bible Page554)

David wrote it in response to his sin with Bathsheba.

READ PSALM 50

CONCLUSION

Do you want to know why an adulterer who committed murder is called “A man after God?s own heart”?

Psalm 50 tells us why!

David wasn?t afraid to admit when He?d blown it!

May I challenge to do the same thing right now?Don?t be afraid to admit that you?ve blown it!

You won?t be telling God anything that He doesn?t already know!

Take that first step toward forgiveness/restoration today?Be like David?.Don?t be afraid to admit when you?ve blown it!

To Ripple or Not to Ripple

Thursday, May 21st, 1998

Opening Scripture:

Psalm 119:9-16 (NIV)
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. 10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. 11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. 12 Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees. 13 With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. 14 I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. 15 I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. 16 I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

Opening Statement: ‘Let the ripples of death be stopped and the ripples of life become waves

Before I begin today I want you to get an image in your mind. An image that will be continually called upon in the course of this message. I want you to think of walking up to the sandy shoreline of a big, clear pond. By the edge of this pond there are two stones – one seems smooth and glittering with streaks of quartz running around it – it looks pleasing, exciting, fun, beautiful. The other stone seems rough, it looks kind of pockmarked, it seems drab and dreary, it looks boring. I want you to think of bending down and picking up one of these stones that fit in the palm of your hand. I want you to think of reaching back with your arm and then casting the stone into the middle of this serene pond. As the stone descends into the water you notice the ripples that begin to make their way across the surface of the water until they are lapping at the shore by your feet. This is the image I want you to keep in mind as I am speaking today. Has everybody got this image in their mind?
Okay now we’re going to do some substitution in this image. I want you to think of the water in the pond as representing your life. As you walk up to the shoreline of this pond you have a choice of which stone to pick up. One of these stones represents sin – the other stone represents righteousness. The ripples that are set off by the stones that you cast into the pond represent the ripples that are started in your life by either the stone of sin or the stone of righteousness.
Now it is time to replay the image. I want you to think of walking up to the sandy shoreline of a big, smooth, clear pond. By the edge of this pond there are two stones – one seems smooth and glittering with streaks of quartz running around it – it looks pleasing, exciting, fun, beautiful. The other stone seems rough, it looks kind of pockmarked, it seems drab and dreary, it looks boring. I want you to think of bending down STOP! Freeze this image in your mind that are reaching down to pick up one of the stones. I want you to hold this image as I tell you a story.

The Psalm that was read to you this morning was written by one of the Bibles greatest heroes. A person that we’re very familiar with. A person that was named as a man after God’s own heart. Truly in the words of this Psalm we find a young man who was very concerned with pleasing God. Who was very concerned about being righteous before God. Who was very concerned with guarding himself against sin. And who was very sincere about his love for God. David at this point of his young life was truly a man after God’s own heart. When he eventually became king, David became well known and respected as the leader of God’s people. Among David’s first actions as king was leading the Israelites back to the proper worship and praise of God. David truly set the example for the rest of the nation. But then David fell. And he fell mightily.

The Story:
Many of us are familiar with the story of David’s sin with Bathsheba. For those who aren’t I would like to summarize this story that is found in 2 Samuel 11.

David remained behind in the springtime in Jerusalem while his army was out fighting a war. One evening David arose out of bed and went for a stroll on the roof of his palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. This woman was very beautiful. Soon David sent someone to find out about her and the reply was “This is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” David intrigued, sent off some messengers to bring Bathsheba to him. Bathsheba came and David slept with her. Then Bathsheba went home. Bathsheba found out she was pregnant and sent word to David to inform him.

David then sent for Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband who was on the battlefield to come home. When Uriah arrived David tried to get him to go to his house so that he would sleep with his wife. Uriah slept at the palace and did not go home. When explaining his actions Uriah said, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”

David, determined to get Uriah to his own house made him drunk. But Uriah still went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants.

David then wrote a death sentence for Uriah to carry back to Joab. David told Joab to send Uriah to fight where the battle was fiercest and then withdraw to leave Uriah to die.

Uriah was killed in battle along with some of the men in David’s army that were fighting with him. Joab sent word back to David that Uriah was dead and then after Bathsheba had mourned the proper time for her husband David married her. Bathsheba bore David a son.

RIPPLES OF SIN

The story of David and Bathsheba is a very sad story. Here we have a King who as a young man wrote of his undying devotion to God and abhorrence of sin, who was a pillar of righteousness to the nation he lead and who as a sinful man committed adultery. You see David in this story was on the shore of his life and he had a choice of which stone to pick up – the stone of sin, or the stone of righteousness. David chose the stone of sin and when he cast the stone it set off ripples of sin in his life. What kind of ripples are started by the stone of sin?

Ripple #1: Sin leads to Sin

In the story of David and Bathsheba it is very easy to see the truth of this statement. David started by looking at a beautiful naked woman bathing. Jesus remarked in Matthew 5:28 that all it takes is a lustful thought for the look to be considered a sin. David followed up by sleeping with Bathsheba – knowing that she was the husband of a very loyal soldier. Then having fathered a baby David seeks to cover up this sin by committing another in trying to get Uriah to sleep with his wife. When this fails David proceeds to cause the murder of Uriah. And finally David marries Bathsheba. Sin leads to sin. Not only did David sin repeatedly himself in this event but eventually it lead to the sinful actions of many of his children, household members and trusted men.

Look at Joab – in carrying out David’s instructions for Uriah he became an accomplice to the murder not only of Uriah but of the men who died with him as well. Joab even endeavors to help cover up this sin of David’s. If you read further in 2 Samuel you would find how one of David’s daughters was raped by one of his sons. This daughter was the sister of Absalom another of David’s sons and Absalom avenged his sister’s rape by killing the rapist. Absalom was banished from the kingdom but eventually when he returned he plotted to overthrow his father and for a period of time was successful.

Sin leads to sin. Folks when you pick up the stone of sin and cast it into your life it sets off ripples of more sin. What began as an innocent lie turns into an immense fabrication. Or look at it this way – the more you lie the easier it is the next time. What begins as a juicy story that just needs to be shared turns to a ripple of gossip that spreads like wildfire and leaves a wake of hurt and pain and division. What begins as an innocent diversion, or entertainment found in certain T.V. programs, Movies or Video Games turns into a change of thinking and sinful action. What begins as single “puff” can turn into an addictive habit. What begins as “one drink” can turn into a abused families, drunk car crashes, dreadful murder. Sin leads to sin.

Ripple #2: Consequences of sin

Because of the stone David cast, he had to live with the consequences of his sin. What are some of the consequences of David’s sin? The killing of a loyal man – in fact Uriah was listed as one of the 30 chief men of David (2 Samuel 23:24-39). These men were the same who were with David when he was fleeing Saul – they also performed great feats in service to David – which makes David’s sin all the more shameful. It lead to bloodshed and disaster in his own house by the hands of his children. I mentioned briefly earlier how Absalom led a revolt against David. This revolt forced David to flee Jerusalem for his life and endure the humiliation of defeat and rebellion from his own son. There’s an interesting story within a story that I’d like to share with you as we discuss the consequences of David’s sin.

Ahithophel

In the account of Absalom’s rebellion it is recorded that a man by the name of Ahithophel joined Absalom and became his advisor.

2 Samuel 15:12 (NIV)
12 While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing.

It is important to also note from this passage that Ahithophel was David’s counselor!!! King’s counselors were usually among the king’s closest friends and confidantes. Yet here was Ahithophel betraying his king and friend!! David wrote of the pain this betrayal brought him in Psalm 55:12-15

Psalms 55:12-15 (NIV)
12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. 15 Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the grave, for evil finds lodging among them.

What is even more shocking is the degree of anger in Ahithophel’s advice to Absalom when David flees Jerusalem – listen to what scripture records.

2 Samuel 16:21 (NIV)
21 Ahithophel answered, “Lie with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father’s nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened.”

2 Samuel 17:1-3 (NIV)
1 Ahithophel said to Absalom, “I would choose twelve thousand men and set out tonight in pursuit of David. 2 I would attack him while he is weary and weak. I would strike him with terror, and then all the people with him will flee. I would strike down only the king 3 and bring all the people back to you. The death of the man you seek will mean the return of all; all the people will be unharmed.”

The question that is asked when reading about Ahithophel’s advice is what gives rise to this anger and viciousness and betrayal.? Well it can be understood when we look at who Ahithophel is related to.

2 Samuel 23:34 (NIV)
34 Eliphelet son of Ahasbai the Maacathite, Eliam son of Ahithophel the Gilonite,

2 Samuel 11:3 (NIV)
3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”

Ahithophel was Bathsheba’s grandfather!!! The reason behind his vengeance and anger is the shame David brought to his family by committing adultery with her. This would also explain the nature of Ahithophel’s advice to Absalom to sleep with David’s wives in plain view of all Israel and also why Ahithophel himself would want to ride out after the king and lead the execution squad. So you see sin has it’s consequences.

What consequences do we face when we sin? What ripples do we see in our lives? Sometimes the consequence we experience are from the sin of another. How many have suffered at the hands of an abuser and that has changed your life. Maybe there was someone who lied and stole money from you. Sin has lead to marital troubles, family troubles, community troubles and national troubles. Sin has lead to divorced homes, youth delinquency, high crime rates, disease, famine and war. And sadly, the consequences of sin may be found in divided churches, lack of commitment, and a general running from God. What consequences of sin are you living with today?

Ripple #3: Judgement

The Bible is very clear that the “wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23) and in the case of David there was no escaping this coming judgement for his sin. David had to pay the penalty for his sin in the eyes of the Lord and that involved death.
Just for a moment I would like to explain the difference between consequences of sin and the penalty of sin. When we sin there will certain consequences of that sin that will be played out in our life – sin sets in action certain natural outcomes. There is no escaping the consequences of sin – which makes it so harmful. However there is also a penalty for sin. And the penalty as already mentioned is death – not only physical death but spiritual and eventually eternal death. This penalty must always be paid, for God – although he is a loving and caring God – is also a just God. And God cannot condone sin.

REMEMBER THIS: the consequences of our sin come as a natural result of our own sinful actions but the penalty of sin is enacted as a result of God’s judgement.

Now back to David – God’ judgement on David is death because of his sin BUT David repents and asks God’s forgiveness

2 Samuel 12:13-14 (NIV)
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die.”

Nathan tells David that he will not die – but wait a minute here the penalty of sin is death and this penalty must always be paid!!! – Nathan continues “but the son born to you will die. ” Although David’s repentance saved him from his own death, the penalty of his sin was paid with the death of his son. “THAT’S NOT FAIR – THE SON WAS AN INNOCENT!” is the cry of many people when they first read this passage. How could God enact such judgement upon a little innocent baby? Have you ever thought about what God saved that baby from? A baby that was conceived in such a sinful manner? A baby that if he had been born would have been the “talk of the town” the ruin of God’s name? If we read further we find in 2 Samuel 12:21 David’s assurance that one day he would be reunited with his dead son in heaven. Yes God’s judgement seemed harsh but His great love is seen in the fact that He sent His own Son to die as a penalty for our sins!

RIPPLES OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

And that brings me to the second stone. Going back to the story of David there is the need to ask the question what brought David to the place of repentance which I mentioned earlier. What caused David to say in repentance, “I have sinned against the Lord?” The answer is found in 2 Samuel 12:1 “The LORD sent Nathan to David.” I Praise the Lord that we serve a God of second chances. God wasn’t willing to give up on David, God was willing to give David a second chance and so he sent Nathan as His spokesperson to bring conviction into David’s life. If you continue to read the rest of chapter 12 you would discover that Nathan told David a story and by that story David was to realize and be convicted of his sin. Once again David was brought to the shore of his life and faced a choice of two stones. He could either ignore the conviction in his heart of his own sin and loft the stone of sin once again or he could grab a hold of the stone of righteousness and send its ripples coursing through his life. David chose the stone of righteousness.
Once again we can learn something from David’s choice.

Ripple #1: Forgiveness leads to forgiveness

One of the best things that David ever did in his life was say I have sinned. It was this attitude of genuine repentance that led to God forgiving David of his sin. Speaking on behalf of God Nathan said, “The LORD has taken away your sin. Your are not going to die.” (2 Samuel 12:13)

However a characteristic of true repentance is found in the willingness not only to accept the forgiveness of God but to forgive others for their sins against yourself. Forgiveness should lead to forgiveness.

One example of this forgiveness may be found in King David’s dealings with a man named Shimei.

2 Samuel 16:5-14 (NIV)
5 As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul’s family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. 6 He pelted David and all the king’s officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David’s right and left. 7 As he cursed, Shimei said, “Get out, get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel! 8 The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!” 9 Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.” 10 But the king said, “What do you and I have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, ‘Curse David,’ who can ask, ‘Why do you do this?’” 11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, who is of my own flesh, is trying to take my life. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. 12 It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today.” 13 So David and his men continued along the road while Shimei was going along the hillside opposite him, cursing as he went and throwing stones at him and showering him with dirt. 14 The king and all the people with him arrived at their destination exhausted. And there he refreshed himself.

2 Samuel 19:18-22 (NIV)
18 They crossed at the ford to take the king’s household over and to do whatever he wished. When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king 19 and said to him, “May my lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. 20 For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first of the whole house of Joseph to come down and meet my lord the king.” 21 Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, “Shouldn’t Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord’s anointed.” 22 David replied, “What do you and I have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? This day you have become my adversaries! Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Do I not know that today I am king over Israel?”

Forgiveness leads to forgiveness. When the stone of righteousness is cast into your life then ripples of forgiveness will be sent out. Who in your life has sinned against you – are you willing to forgive them? Maybe you’re experiencing the consequences of someone else’s sin – are you willing to forgive them? Maybe the consequences of your sin have fallen on others around you – have you asked for forgiveness?

Ripple #2: Consequences of Righteousness

On the surface it would seem that David’s choice of throwing the righteous stone had no consequence in his life. We need to remember however that David still had to live amidst the consequence of his sin. However, David was able to persevere and endure as a consequence of righteousness. The wars David fought were won, David and Bathsheba gave birth to Solomon and through Solomon the line of Jesus was continued. David’s son Solomon became heir to a nation that was the strongest in the world at that time. The borders of Israel had never been bigger. Solomon ruled over Israel in peace and prosperity because of David’s repentance and choice to cast the stone of righteousness into his life.

What about the consequences we can expect if we choose the stone of righteousness. What ripples can we expect to see in our lives? Instead of suffering and giving when facing trials and hardships we now endure and persevere. Righteousness leads to strengthened marriages, strengthened families, strengthened communities, and strengthened nations. Righteousness leads to solid homes, low crime rates, healing, peace and joy. The consequences of righteousness can be found in united churches, committed Christians and a general running to God. Do you want the consequences of righteousness in your life?

Ripple #3: Salvation

In contrast to the ripple of judgement set off by sin there is the ripple of salvation set off by righteousness. But let me be clear about something – In the act of picking up that stone of righteousness you are saying as David said “Lord I have sinned” You are repenting of that sin and asking for God’s forgiveness. Then something wonderful begins to happen as you pull back your arm to let the stone go. It’s like an invisible hand grabs onto your hand and propels that stone deep and solidly into your life. Folks, David’s son paid the penalty for his sin. But God’s son paid the penalty for ours. When we reach for the stone of righteousness we are reaching for the righteousness of Jesus Christ. When we cast the stone of righteousness into our lives the Holy Spirit is casting it with us. Oh and those ripples become waves. We cannot cast this stone ourselves. It is only by the gift of God in Jesus Christ that we can cast that stone. And the ripples of coming from this feeble throw we put forth are turned into waves by the power and the force of the Holy Spirit. Praise God that by the stone of righteousness, Jesus Christ, we are saved. And what is it we are saved from?

The ripples of sin lead to eternal death. But the ripples of righteousness lead to eternal life. We are saved from an eternity of separation from God and to an eternity of communion with God.

Now I want to repeat the statement I made at the beginning of this message, : ‘Let the ripples of death be stopped and the ripples of life become waves’

Now let’s pick up where we froze the image at the beginning of the message
I want you to think of bending down and picking up one of these stones that fit in the palm of your hand. I want you to think of reaching back with your arm and then casting the stone into the middle of this serene pond. As the stone descends into the water you notice the ripples that begin to make their way across the surface of the water until they are lapping at the shore by your feet.

To close I’d like to read a Psalm read by David when he was confronted with his sin with Bathsheba.

Psalms 51:1-17 (NIV)
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you. 14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Altar – Create in Me a Clean Heart