Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Sometimes the Solution is Easier than You Think

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local café. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their peppershaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

“Ma’am,” they said, “we couldn’t help but notice that the peppershaker contains salt and the saltshaker?”

“Oh,” the waitress interrupted. “Sorry about that.” She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

—Found on MSN; submitted by Sherman Lee Burford, Tuskegee Institute, Alabama to PreachingToday.com

All I learned from Noah…

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

There is a well-known book titled, Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Let me suggest another: Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Noah:

  1. Don’t miss the boat.
  2. We are all in the same boat.
  3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
  4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something big.
  5. Don’t listen to critics; just do the job that needs to be done.
  6. Build your future on high ground.
  7. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.
  8. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
  9. When you’re stressed, float a while.
  10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
  11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

—Source unknown;

Dead Horses

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians says when you discover you’re riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business and ministry, because of the heavy investment factors, other strategies are often tried with dead horses, including: buying a stronger whip; changing riders; threatening the horse with termination; appointing a committee to study the horse; arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses; reclassifying the dead horse as  “living-impaired”; hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse; harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed; donating the dead horse to a recognized charity and deducting its full original cost; doing a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity; declaring a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better; and  promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
The KELLYGRAM 12/02

Old Weather Technology

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

“On cable TV they have a weather channel – 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.” – Dan Spencer

Three Weeks to live…

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007

Which Three Weeks to Live?

“I’m afraid you only have three weeks to live,” the doctor told his patient.
“Okay then,” the patient replied, “I’ll take the last two weeks of July and the week between Christmas and New Year’s.”
Citation: Submitted by Van Morris, Mt. Washington, Kentucky at PreachingToday.com